Feedback on Rough edit

LEVI - 5/15

The climax jumpcut sequence is very nice.
The color grade and filter you've put on the memory shots are cool. 

Timestamp numbers are a bit too big. And do they have to use commas? It looks strange.
The same filter should be applied to all 'little girl' shots, or else it feels weird that we don't see that effect until about 1min into the video. Also, are the final 'little girl' shots still edited with that filter? Cuz I can't tell. 

You have 16 seconds of SILENCE at the beginning of your MUSIC VIDEO. In my first language, we call that "doing it wrong." :D

The film didn't grab me. Some basic attention is paid to the idea of switching to memory sequences, though they are handled better at the beginning and then all bunched together at the end. It feels like you planned your shots but gave far less emphasis to planning how you would use a sequence of pictures to tell a story. Or perhaps you needed to think more about the story being told by the song?

Response:

We sent our music videos off to another teacher from a school in the same city and this is the feedback that he gave to me, obviously getting a 5/15 isn't what I expected to get but it gives me a realistic expectation of the marks I would possibly be getting. This being said it also serves as motivation to improve on my
video to get it up to those higher marks. 

I have shortened the 16 seconds of silence at the start as I do agree it didn't really give any added effect. On top of that, I made the timestamps a lot smaller than they were and made the effect make it look more like a VHS camera.

I have also added the effect to every shot of the little girl to keep the continuity throughout the whole video. I still have to move everything around to make it suit the story more and hopefully grab people's attention more.

Many people have considered the graveyard shot as confusing and I can see why so if we were to redo a shot that would most likely be our main option. Also experimenting with shooting in different lights so that we can have multiple shots of her there in better lighting. This will need to be soon as the weather may not be nice for much longer seeing as it's almost winter.

I would like to reshoot some of the road shots when they are walking in the dark because the footage isn't the best quality and the acting at some points wasn't the best but with the footage, we have already there are only certain parts of the clips we can use as there would be a car coming so we would have to get off the road and it made it hard so maybe if we went at an earlier time.

Digipack Plan by Levi Wijohn